Into This I Fall
by Adara-chan67
Summary: What would have happened if, in Moonshine, Cal's first gate hadn't conveniently dropped him off in his living room? Oneshot, Moonshine AU, Cal and Niko brotherliness, really not a great amount of story. It's also my first Leandros fic, so be kind!


_Disclaimer: Rob Thurman's stuff is not my stuff._

_Characters: Cal and Niko Leandros, Promise, Robin Goodfellow_

_Setting: _Moonshine

_Warnings: AU_

_Author's Note: Okay, so there are a couple of things I want you to keep in mind while reading this story. One of them is the fact that I STILL don't have my Leandros books…_**sniff, sniff**_…so if there are any discrepancies in here, I'm really, really sorry, and I'm hoping you'll be willing to kind of look the other way. And the other is the fact that I have never been anywhere near New York and I have no idea what the geography there is like. So, once again, I hope you'll be lenient with a poor girl!_

* * *

Into This I Fall

Things can happen in an instant.

You can smash into another car on the highway.

You can slip on the stairs.

You can fall from a high place and crack open your skull.

Death can happen in an instant, but the pain and loss it leaves behind last lifetimes.

XXX

Cal's death happened in an instant.

It also seemed like kind of an excessive price to pay for the extermination of one of the freakiest and deadliest creatures on earth, but it looked to Cal like he'd been elected to pay it all the same. He didn't quite know all his feelings about that, except that he was pretty sure it was unfair.

But whatever. He was still about to be buried under tons of rock with pretty much the last thing anyone in their right mind would want to be entombed with. He was still glad that at least Niko wasn't being buried with him. He was still dying.

And then suddenly, he…wasn't.

Dying, that was.

Or entombed.

Or glad Niko wasn't with him.

Because he was falling through space and being pulled apart inside and childishly wishing his big brother was there to protect him because no one wanted to be alone for all that.

He'd barely started trying to figure out what was going on when the gateway spit him out impolitely and unceremoniously, about fifteen feet from the ground. Niko probably would've frowned on the gracelessness with which he tumbled, but that was one of the last things on Cal's mind right now.

Actually, there wasn't much on Cal's mind at all right now, not beyond _what the hell?_

And then he hit the ground head-first, and he stopped thinking even that.

XXX

Robin had to knock Niko out to get him back to the surface, and it wasn't easy. Even with Niko distracted, desperate, and diligently trying to move tons of rock, it cost the puck the complete collection of bruises, welts and sprains to finally lay him out.

It took almost as much work to get him to the surface, what with the eight or nine swords and daggers adding to his weight. Robin spent most of that time hoping he'd hit Niko hard enough to keep him under for a while, because he was going to be _pissed_, and fairly likely to turn his anger to the person who had taken him out on the first place.

Not that Niko could ever take him in a fight or anything, Robin assured himself.

He just had better things to do with his time than fight.

Really.

XXX

Cal's first thought was that his head hurt. A lot. More than the time he'd spit the seeds of an apple core on the floor, mistakenly thinking that Niko was in the other room.

He groaned slightly and rolled over onto his back, body protesting every movement, and then pushed himself to his feet.

He didn't waste time wondering what had happened. He was pretty sure there was only one explanation for that. But he did wonder where the gate had spit him out, and it was with that question in mind that he began making his way toward the marker he could see outlined in the distance.

It took him a while to reach it, and when he did he kind of wished he hadn't.

His first instinct was to reach desperately for his phone before he remembered that he didn't _have_ a phone.

_Crap._

With a long-suffering sigh, Cal roused himself and did the only thing he could—he began to walk the thirty miles back to New York City.

And behind him, three pairs of eyes watched, and followed.

XXX

Niko sat on his bed, cross-legged, his hands resting on his knees and his eyes fixed on something far away. He was absolutely still, an unmoving statue since he'd woken up.

Robin and Promise sat in chairs beside the bed—at a distance. Both were suspiciously alive, despite their determination to keep Niko in the apartment. Niko didn't seem interested in hurting them—he didn't even seem to notice them.

Or anything else, for that matter.

As they watched, the puck leaned toward Promise and murmured, "This is seriously out of character. I mean, don't think I'm not glad he's…serene, meditative, whatever…but I was prepared for him to try and kill us."

"And you could have handled that?" Promise asked dryly.

"Well, sure. Easily. Didn't you see the lump on his head? That was me."

"And the bruises covering ninety percent of your body—were those you, as well?"

"That's not funny."

Promise looked over at him and said seriously, "No, it isn't."

XXX

Niko probably thought he was dead.

And there were Auphe following him.

Those were the only things that kept Cal going long after his body told him to sit down on the side of the road and never get up again.

The Auphe were at the top of an extremely short list of things he was afraid of, and even though so far they hadn't torn his throat out, Cal was _not_ going to stop to chat. In fact, every time he thought about them being anywhere near him, he became wracked with cold chills and if he had been physically able to run, he would have.

But he wasn't, so he trudged, wished heartily for one of the weapons he'd lost in the fall, and, on occasion, prayed.

And as for Niko…well, he probably thought Cal had died in that cave, and if that was the case, then he would be hurting right now, badly. The little brother in Cal refused to let that go on any longer than he had to.

Which was the main reason he was exposing himself to the humiliation of hitchhiking.

"Oh, come _on!"_ Cal groaned in frustration as a green van passed him by without so much as slowing down, the fifth green van and the seventeenth vehicle to do so on the sparsely-used road. "That is _not_ cool," he muttered as he went on. "I'm not dangerous…"

He was _really_ looking forward to getting into the more heavily-populated areas. For one thing, it meant he'd probably lose the Auphe, considering that it was broad-daylight and he was pretty sure the Auphe were weaker in the sun. Besides, no demon, no matter how strong, could hope to take on all of downtown New York City at _any_ time.

And for another thing, a more populated area gave him a higher chance of finding someone willing to give him a ride.

Of course, he also had a greater number of people to reject him…

He could just imaging the look he'd get from Niko when he heard about this, could almost hear the lecture on how dangerous hitchhiking was, even for someone who was so much stronger than the average person.

But Niko could lecture all he wanted. All Cal wanted was just to _get_ to him. He wanted to tell Niko what had happened and have Niko say they'd figure it out and then to fall into bed and sleep for a week.

But in order for any of that to happen, he had to actually get home.

With a sigh and another hopeful look at the road behind him, Cal trudged on.

XXX

Niko had long since come to terms with the fact that the mind was an uncontrollable stream of consciousness. He'd long since accepted that he would never be able to control his thoughts as he controlled his facial expressions. That was why he engaged in what Cal called "pansy-ass mediation"—not, as it seemed, to quiet his thoughts, but to do exactly the opposite and allow them to take the reigns entirely.

He'd never wished he could stop the ceaseless flow—until now.

Ever since he'd woken up, his brain had been refusing to comprehend the fact that Cal was dead. He simply didn't believe that his brother could be snatched away so quickly, so easily. It had happened once before, and he refused to believe it had happened again, or that it was permanent.

Cal wasn't dead.

Cal was alive until Niko held a cold body in his arms.

So here he sat, on his bed, waiting quietly for proof, either of Cal's death or of his life.

He could tell that Robin and Promise were worried about his lack of emotion. He hadn't so much as glanced at either of them, but their concern was palpable. It was probably reasonable, too—he probably seemed fairly crazy right now.

But he didn't _feel_ crazy. He felt…expectant. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he waited for it all the same.

He had no desire to do anything else, now.

XXX

Cal got all the way into the city without a single person stopping to offer him a ride, and he would have been angry about that if he hadn't felt like crying with relief the moment he entered the thronging crowds, felt the moment the Auphe faded away from him, and finally spotted a phone booth on the next corner.

He had the disconcerting feeling that everyone was staring at him as he made his aching way toward it, but the sad fact was that very few people probably even noticed him. It was New York—after living there a while, most people just stopped asking questions.

Still, he felt a lot of his tension ease when he finally reached the booth. He'd dug into his pocket on the way, and now he slid his only quarter into the slot and picked up the phone to dial.

Niko was going to be here soon.

It wasn't a bad thing to know right then.

XXX

Even though he'd been waiting, Niko was startled when the phone rang. He was startled because he'd been expecting a body, solid proof that he was alone in the world, and bodies didn't appear through phone lines.

The persistent sound jarred him out of his thoughts, and he turned to stare blankly at the phone across the room. He was starting to push himself to his feet when a hand on his shoulder stilled his progress and Promise said gently, "I'll get it."

He had almost forgotten she was there, which was strange, because he _never_ forgot when she was there. She and Cal were his grounding forces, his ballasts—only apparently, if Cal wasn't there, there _was_ no grounding him.

He was pondering this new insight when Promise picked up the phone and said, "Yes?"

He stopped pondering when she went pale—ironic, considering—and looked more shocked than he—or probably anyone else—had ever seen her. For the first time his mind shut up, because he _knew._ He knew even before she locked eyes with him across the room, and said, very clearly, "Cal."

XXX

Cal leaned heavily against the glass of the phone booth as he waited for Promise to hand the phone to his brother, feeling relief cover him like a blanket at the knowledge that Niko would be there to take over soon.

The relief doubled when he heard deep, even, wordless breathing come over the line.

"Hey, Nik."

He heard a low sound from Niko, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out if it was a sob, a gasp, or a laugh. But whatever it had been, any trace of it was gone when Niko spoke.

"Are you hurt?"

Cal sank a little closer to the ground and determinedly pushed himself up straight again. He hesitated, then said, "No. But…can you came and get me?"

XXX

Niko gave him orders spoken in a firm, comforting manner, and Cal followed them to the letter. He hung up the phone and used the last of his reserves to drag himself to the bench next to the booth. Then he folded himself onto it. He wanted to lay down, but Niko—probably not trusting his self-assessment and suspecting some sort of head injury—had told him to stay awake, no matter what.

So, instead of sleeping, he people-watched.

And it was pretty much exactly as boring as it sounded. As it turned out, there was nothing even remotely interesting about the people of New York, and Cal was almost asleep and screw the orders when a car screeched to a halt in the street in front of his bench.

It had to have been one of Robin's, because there was nowhere else a car that obnoxiously shiny could have come from. (Sure, Promise was ridiculously loaded, but she owned limos, not cars.) Niko must've been freaked to have even gotten into a car like that, let alone ride in it into downtown New York, and suddenly all Cal wanted in the world was to see his brother.

Well, a bed would've been nice, too. But Niko was still at the top of the list.

And just as he was thinking that, Niko emerged from the car.

The feeling Cal had upon seeing him reminded him of that horrible year they'd spent apart, when he would go visit Niko every weekend and still felt like he was completely alone in the world. But then the visit would come around again, and as soon as he clapped eyes on Niko he'd forget the loneliness entirely.

That was how he felt now, and actually, the look on Niko's face was similar to the one he'd had a those times, too, only with a little more hidden desperation.

He was still dwelling on all of these fascinating insights when Niko crouched in front of him. For a second, they just stared at each other, and then Niko muttered something like, "_Damn_ it," and pulled him down into a rough hug.

Cal blinked a couple of times, then smiled slightly as Niko's arms tightened even more and dropped his head against Niko's shoulder, letting the feeling of being _safe_ wash over him at last.

XXX

Niko examined him thoroughly in the car, carding through his hair and taking a close look at the swollen lump on his head. It hurt, but Cal decided not to say anything.

The car was turning onto their street when Niko finally announced that he'd be sore for a while, but he was free of concussion and he would heal.

"Does that mean I can go to sleep when we get home?" Cal hazarded as Robin stopped the car and looked back at them with a grin.

"Home sweet hell, kiddies."

"Just because our apartment is tiny and dirty and cramped doesn't mean it's _hell,"_ Cal pointed out, squinting to bring Robin's face into full clarity. "You're just _judgmental_, is all."

Robin raised an eyebrow and asked Niko, "Is he drunk?"

"No," Niko said with a fond smile. "He's just tired."

"Huh," Robin said, looking disappointed. "Too bad. Kid could do with some loosening up."

Niko would normally have said something to that, but right now he was too busy pulling Cal out of the car and toward the apartment building.

"You two going to need some help?" Robin called out the window, grinning lecherously when Niko half-turned to give him the politest killing glare known to man. "What? Just thought I'd ask…"

"_Goodbye_, Robin," Niko said pointedly, and stared at the puck until he drove away.

XXX

"I thought Promise'd be here…" Cal murmured, looking vaguely around the apartment as Niko pulled him inside. "Thought she'd be comforting you…" He'd probably meant to inject some lighthearted humor into that comment, but somehow it fell flat. Apparently even in his current state, Cal realized how the words sounded, and his eyes focused on Niko. "I'm sorry…didn't mean it like that…just meant…"

"I know," Niko said, leading Cal into the bedroom.

"I just thought she'd be here….where is she…?" Cal mumbled, collapsing onto his bed and half-burying his face in the pillow.

Niko perched on the edge of the bed next to him and rested a hand on his back. "She went home after you called. She thought it would be best, but she said she'd stop in tomorrow."

"Oh…cool…" Cal said, his mouth already running on automatic, the way it tended to when he was more asleep than awake. "Think she'll bring doughnuts? And coffee? Coffee's good…"

Niko smiled and leaned closer, his voice lowered to a whisper. "Just go to sleep, Cal."

"'M'kay…" Cal mumbled, and then drifted off with a soft sigh.

Niko stayed where he was for almost half an hour, just watching his brother sleep.

But he was never going to tell Cal that.

XXX

Cal woke to find Niko gone and a note propped against the lamp, telling him on o uncertain terms that if he woke up before Niko came back, he was to get something to eat and then _make sure the kitchen was clean._

In response to the stern note, Cal rolled his eyes, turned over and went back to sleep.

Niko was back when he woke again, even though he hadn't been out for more than a couple of hours this time. Big brother had returned and was sitting on his bed, playing idly with one of his knives.

He looked up as Cal shifted and focused bleary eyes on him. The knife's movement didn't pause. "You've been sleeping for seventeen hours. Feel better?"

Cal blinked a couple of times, thinking about it. "I'm hungry."

"Well, then I suppose everything is normal," Niko replied. He glanced at the bedside table, and Cal, following his gaze, found a plate of assorted doughnuts and the biggest Styrofoam cup of black coffee known to man. He grinned.

"The coffee should still be hot," Niko said. "I just brought it all back."

Cal would have questioned that, considering the fact that Niko looked like he'd been sitting in that very spot since the dawn of time, but he'd long since learned that such pursuits were almost entirely useless. Instead, he just shrugged, reached over for a chocolate jelly-filled, and crammed it into his mouth.

Niko watched him eat for a while, then said, "I went out while you were asleep. I called Robin and Promise to come and stay with you, just in case, but they said all was quiet and you didn't even stir."

Cal didn't bother to utter the childish response of "I'm not a baby" that rose automatically to his lips. It would earn him nothing but a smack on the head and a sarcastic remark, anyway.

"I went back downtown," Niko went on when he didn't reply. "I wanted to make sure that the  
Auphe hadn't made it home with you." He waited for the surprised—and guilty—look he'd probably known was coming, then said, "Well? They were following you, weren't they?"

Cal had been reaching for another doughnut, but now he dropped his hand back to the bed. "I wasn't trying to hide it," he said guiltily. "I was going to tell you, I swear. Everything was just so fuzzy…I guess I forgot."

"Trust you to forget something like that," Niko said, exasperated. "It doesn't' matter, though—they've scattered again."

Cal felt a weight he hadn't even known was there lighten at the reassurance from the one person whose judgment he truly trusted, and he reached for another doughnut without really thinking about it. "Wonder what they wanted?" he said around a mouthful. "They didn't try to hurt me—I didn't even_ see_ them. Just kind of…felt them. It doesn't seem like them."

"I suspect they were just observing you," Niko said. "They may have sensed your gateway, and they'd want to see its effect on you."

Cal looked at him for a long time, then said, "I really can't ever surprise you, can I?"

"Never," Niko agreed calmly. He studied Cal for a moment, then asked, "So what did it feel like?"

"What, making a gate?" Niko nodded, and Cal shrugged. "Didn't feel like anything, really. I didn't even know it was happening until it dropped me out thirty miles from New York. Had a bad aftertaste, though—made me nauseous. And tired."

"Clearly," Niko replied. Then he fell silent again, his eyes intent on Cal's face.

"Nik, what?" Cal finally asked irritably.

Niko tilted his head to the side a little and asked, "You know this changes nothing, don't you? All it means is that you have a useful new escape route."

"Yeah, sure, one that happens to be passed down from pure _evil,"_ Cal snapped, a little more angrily than he'd intended.

"And?"

"And? You really think I need to _add_ anything?"

"I think you need to tell me why on earth it should matter."

"Hey, you're the one who took all those genetics classes, not me."

Niko shook his head. "Cal, it seems to me that you don't understand your own words half the time. The Auphe are only half of you."

"And Sophia's the other half."

"Half of me, too. And my other half had no qualms about abandoning his wife and child."

Niko's voice was light, but Cal wilted immediately. "…Oh."

"Yes. Oh. You don't have to be inhuman to be a monster, little brother, and you don't have to be human to be good."

"Guess I never thought of it that way," Cal said slowly, and even if he didn't entirely believe it, it was still a start.

"I imagine not. You never _really_ think. And I'll tell you something else you never thought about," Niko added, standing up and leaning in close, as if about to impart a secret. "The next time you make a gate it had better land you right next to me, because so help me, if you ever let me think you're dead again, even for a moment—you will not enjoy the consequences."

And _that_, at least, Cal believed.

But as Niko left the room to go do…whatever Niko did, Cal's eyes fell on the coffee and doughnuts he'd asked for in his half-drunken exhaustion the night before. Niko had gone out and bought them, despite their lack of money.

And as he smiled and reached for a doughnut, Cal thought maybe there was one other thing he believed in—wholeheartedly.

* * *

_Author's Note 2: Wow, guys. Been a few weeks, hasn't it? Blame RL—you all know what the beginning of the school year is like, I'm sure._

_Anyways, it's good to be back! And reviews—well, THEY would be even nicer!_

…_Please? It's my first time writing Cal and Niko without the benefit of having Sam and Dean to play them off of, so have some pity and tell me what you think!_


End file.
